I will NEVER forget, apparently some of us already have...

"... for those of us who lived through these events, 

the only marker we’ll ever need is the tick of a clock 

at the 46th minute of the eighth hour of the 11th day". 

President George W. Bush 

Ok, so don’t jump the gun and tell me I have already blogged about this (because you are PARTIALLY correct).  Ten years ago today changed everything about how a lot of us live our lives day to day. I am going to go out on a limb and say ESPECIALLY if you lived, live or have family that is in New York, Washington DC or Pennsylvania. Every time I go through security at an airport, board an airplane, see planes flying overhead, hear a loud crash, observe a person acting suspiciously (I could go on forever) I begin to feel that same panicky feeling that I did after watching the horrific events of September 11, 2001. Ten years ago today, I was an optimistic student attending college classes on a beautiful morning without a care in the world other than how far away my parking spot was on campus to my first class.  Ten years ago today I heard the events through a local disk jockey's voice thinking it was a prank.  Ten years ago today I watched as the towers crumbled and along with them all hope that our nation would ever really be “safe” again.  Ten years ago I cried, held those I loved close and prayed that we would never live through such tragedy again.  That was ten years ago.  Since 9/11, I can’t even look at the numbers 9 and 11 in succession without getting chills and a lump forming in my throat.  I, like many, never thought something like the attack on the Twin Towers could or would ever rattle the earth to its psychological core-but for many of us it did just that.  For years after 9/11 I would occasionally visit Ground Zero and through it’s many different stages of reconstruction, not even be able to fathom what it could have been like on that day-I was merely 40 miles away and it felt like another universe.  My first visit to Ground Zero was a cold dreary day.  I saw hundreds of pictures of the victims, candles, teddy bears, ribbons tied to fences and every now and then I would stop to read the gut wrenching stories of how much their families loved and missed them and couldn’t help but cry.  As I was wandering through the gloomy tribute I had mentioned to one of my family members that I wanted to buy an NYPD t-shirt...not a minute later I was approached by a police officer in uniform and asked if I wanted an NYPD t-shirt and of course I accepted his gift without a second thought. When I turned to thank him again for his generosity, he was nowhere to be seen-there was something eerily comforting about his presence and to this day I still have my suspicions about that encounter.  Year after year I would sit through the hours upon hours of the tribute from Ground Zero where they read each of the victim’s name and I would cry along with everyone else my only comfort being that this year marked one more year we had to be thankful that nothing like that has happened again. I even visited the 9/11 museum with my class of 6th graders a few years back and walking next to bent beams and crushed fire trucks could not help but let the wave of emotions come over me once again.  

Since that day ten years ago I met my wonderful husband who witnessed the attacks first hand. He was one of those people walking miles and miles covered in ash, unsure what he would find as he kept walking trying to get home that day.  He doesn’t like to talk about it and rightfully so.  The events he witnessed that day led him to change his life and devote his attention to serving his country, OUR country and with it have come some very sobering experiences on what that actually means nowadays.  Since he set out on this path, it has taken us halfway across the world, away from friends, family and the life we grew up knowing.   We have come to assimilate into a military type lifestyle where deployments are always on the horizon, time away from one another is a given and moving every 3 years is just about the only thing we have to be certain about.  

So you ask why revisit these gloomy memories and terrifying visions?  Of course I have a motive to all my madness and this time it is because I have once again been let down by some of the very people that are in place to protect our freedom and liberties. With 9/11 approaching I was perplexed when I flipped through our base’s newspaper The Coastline (Take a look: http://issuu.com/navstarota/docs/september_8__2011_coastline) and saw no reference to anything related to the topic.  Pictured on the cover was a montage of a firefighter a crumbled tower and first responders with the title “A Time of Remembrance A Time to Prepare.”  I read through the artical titles and came to the end and thought, surely I missed it!  There MUST be a section that I passed over detailing how our American troops and civilians overseas were to pay tribute to the fallen....I saw how to prepare for a tornado and hurricane, a travel section of the town just beyond the base’s gates, and “Good News! Magic American Diner Now Open Noon to Midnight.”   In disbelief I looked through the paper cover to cover a few times and then my blood began to boil.  

I posed the question to a few people that live and/or work on the military base we are currently assigned to as to what the status of our September 11th memorial was (since months ago the planning committee was looking for speakers to volunteer their experiences that day and my thoughts were that obviously they just forgot to mention it in the Coastline).  I searched the base’s official FaceBook page and the FaceBook page for the Moral Welfare and Recreation Department but again I found no mention of September 11th.  I had envisioned our hardworking military members, department of defense employees and the spouses and children that are always along for the ride, all gathering together lit by candlelight, sharing our experiences, crying together, remembering and honoring those who lost their lives on that day.  I think to myself, among all the other reasons, aren’t the events that occurred on September 11, 2001 why most of us are here in the first place?  I would love to know how many of the military members I see around the base on a daily basis joined to protect our country after that day.  I would love to know how others overcame the sadness in losing a friend, or loved one that day.  I would love to know how strong we are as a nation that we can come together  halfway across the world bonded by our respect and undying need to serve our country and thank whatever God we believe in that we are still here to be able to pay tribute to what happened on that day. But alas, there will be no vigil, there will be no reading of names or gathering of any sort and the reason I keep hearing is because “it is a matter of security.”  Now, please explain to me how the hundreds of people gathered for our “Independence Fest” our Christmas “spectacular” where Santa came in by naval helicopter, and all the other “base-wide” events held are NOT a matter of security but gathering to show respect and mourn a very critical day in our country’s history is? A good friend of ours working at the American Embassy in Madrid mentioned that even there a tribute was being held there AND GET THIS....in public!  I would LOVE to be a fly on the wall at the meeting that essentially canceled the tribute that was already in the works.  I wonder sometimes why I seem to be the only one who notices these acts of stupidity and have the sense (or the cajones-some would say) to call them on their bluff.  I WISH  that my visions of an investigative news team from the States coming to our little base and following the “higher ups” based here and in charge of these decisions with nothing but “no comment” to say would come true.  How is it that they can hold the yearly memorial in the same place that the tragedy occurred (with obvious concerns for safety) but our little bitty Spanish Naval Base that Americans live and work on would be a matter of threat so large that it would put any sort of tribute to such scrutiny.  I doubt that our Spanish hosts would have had any problem with the Americans showing respect for 9/11; heck, I think they would be happy not to have another base event that promotes the Americans here drinking and then acting like complete bafoons disregarding others’ culture and values for once.  Maybe it is because I am not military, never was and neither is my husband that I feel that I have the right to ask “why?” and I feel that I deserve an honest, educated and well thought out response....I guess I will just have to hold out for this one. I am disappointed with the people who decided this, I am even more disappointed that instead of being honest about their intentions they chose to pretend 9/11 wasn’t even happening-to them I say....YOU may have already forgotten but I will NEVER forget-God Bless the United States of America.

So I will end my blog with this, my heart mourns, my spirit is heavy but I know that I will be saying a prayer today for all those who were affected by this tragedy.  I want to end with a few quotes that I have borrowed from various places because through others words we can sometimes be helped though our mourning process and after all we all mourn the events of September 11, 2001.

"Thousands of lives were suddenly ended by evil, despicable acts of terror. The pictures of airplanes flying into buildings, fires burning, huge structures collapsing, have filled us with disbelief, terrible sadness and a quiet, unyielding anger.

--George W. Bush 

"You can be sure that the American spirit will prevail over this tragedy." 

--Colin Powell

These acts of mass murder were intended to frighten

our nation into chaos and retreat.

But they have failed; our country is strong.

President George W. Bush

Tonight, I ask for your prayers for all those who

grieve, for the children whose worlds have been

shattered, for all whose sense of safety and

security has been threatened. And I pray they

will be comforted by a power greater than any

of us, spoken through the ages in Psalm 23:

"Even though I walk through the valley of the

shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me."

President George W. Bush

The attacks of September 11th were intended to break our spirit. Instead we have emerged stronger and more unified. We feel renewed devotion to the principles of political, economic and religious freedom, the rule of law and respect for human life. We are more determined than ever to live our lives in freedom.

Rudolph W. Giuliani

All is well...Safely rest.  God is nigh.

From "TAPS" 

by Major General Daniel Butterfield